Confusion is a part of my life. I face it every day, especially when trying to do something new. As an entrepreneur, I have to make many risky decisions, so it’s obvious that I face confusion frequently.
I have observed that my confusion starts when I run out of options. For example, when I want to achieve a goal, I make plans. But when these plans don’t work in real life, I search for more plans, do research, ask experts, and try again. When these attempts fail, I use my Quick CBT Formula to calm my frustration and try once more. But again, I face failure, leading to intense confusion and an inability to find the right path for my goal. I don’t want to give up, so I try to solve this confusion as soon as possible. However, this often leads to feeling stuck, unable to move forward.
I’ve tried various strategies to solve my confusion and stuckness, most of which didn’t work. Writing down my confusion to find logical connections didn’t help, nor did creating to-do lists to switch to action mode. Postponing the desire to achieve the goal brought temporary relief, but the confusion and stuckness returned as soon as I pursued the goal again.
It felt like facing an insurmountable wall, bigger than the Great Wall of China. I believe everyone has faced confusion and stuckness in their lives, trying various ways to solve it and gain clarity. This confusion is the number one reason for procrastination and delays in achieving goals, at least in my experience.
One day, I tried a different approach. I realized that when I am stuck and confused, my mind is filled with repetitive thoughts focused on achieving the goal at any cost. The same plans and goal-setting processes keep running in my mind, with no new ideas generated. This led me to recognize the Plateau Effect, where there’s a maximum limit to everything, including my mind and abilities. Pushing beyond this limit only results in more failures.
The only good option seemed to be postponing the desire/goal or compromising on it, a type of letting go strategy. While this brought temporary relief, it never helped me achieve my goals. As soon as I pursued the goal again, I faced the same confusion and stuckness.
I decided to dive deep into my mind and thought patterns, identifying three major components when pursuing a goal:
- Why? – The core reason behind the goal, which inspires me.
- What? – The specific goal, inspired by my WHY.
- How? – The plan and tasks required to achieve the goal.
Having already tried changing and postponing my How and What without success, I decided to change my Why.
For example, I had a project to complete to earn money, but my plans were not successful. I stopped the plan and goal, and reconsidered why I wanted to complete the project. Initially, it was for money, but deeper reflection revealed that I wanted money to progress in life, feel happy, secure, and at peace. Happiness emerged as the core WHY.
I tested this new WHY of being happy and moving forward. Thinking about this brought great relief, and soon, I gained clarity and new ideas without inner hesitation or mental blockers. I felt compelled to try these ideas, which led to progress and ultimately success in my project.
The Answer:
Change your core WHY to solve your confusion and rid yourself of stuckness. When you’re confused, your mind is stuck in repetitive thoughts, hindering progress in your goal and life. By reconsidering your WHY, you’ll often find that the ultimate WHY is happiness.
Reflect on why you want to achieve your goal. You’ll realize that moving forward in life and feeling happy are core desires. Let this sink into your conscious mind, then do something else for a while. Once you feel genuinely ready to pursue happiness and progress, visualize achieving your goal and making progress. This isn’t about belief or acting as if, but simply visualizing.
As you do this, your mind will calm, repetitive thoughts will fade, and clarity will emerge. New, sensible ideas will come to you, and doubts will gradually disappear. You’ll feel compelled to act on these ideas, leading to progress and the resolution of confusion and stuckness.
