When something bad happen in our life, our brain stop generating happy hormones automatically. Then it see the lack of happy hormones as a threat, then generate the Stress hormone “Cortisol”. This cortisol hormone stays in body for many hours, like 2-3 h average, and our body reacts to it. And we call this Sad feelings.
We do not have 100% control over our life & so there will always be some small to big bad events in our life. And even if you understand this fact & decided to not worry; still you will feel worry or sad whenever any bad event happen. it is because of biology. When we detect something wrong happen, instantly this cortisol hormone generated in our body & cause us sad feelings.
So does this mean we cannot get rid of this sadness? Yes, we can. For this we need to use this strategy.
First understand that we always have some desires/goals & responsibility in our life. You cannot escape from it. We have our own view point on what should happen & what should not happen. Our desires & expectations always present in our mind. You can stop thinking about them, but can not escape from them. And our brain see this as base point of safety. We our brain detect anything align with our desire or expectations; it started generating happy hormones like dopamine & then we feel motivated to act on it or just think about it. But as soon as it detect anything go against our desire & expectations; it stops all happy hormones & generate the stress hormone Cortisol. So some parts of our desires & expectations play a huge role on how our brain react to the perceived threats.
Now you get some control back on your brain. You can talk to yourself & change your desire/expectations. You can talk t yourself to calm down. But it will take times & you will keep feeling sad in that time. But there is another fast way. Here you will stop feeling sad in very few minutes. This technique is “Letting go”.
When you let go of your desire or expectations in present moments, your mind will take little time but eventually it will easily accept it. Then even if some wrong happen related to your desire or expectations; our brain do not see this as a big threat & so it will not generate the stress hormone “cortisol”, rather generate other happy hormones as life seems good. Then all remaining cortisol will go away fast or new happy hormones will replace it fast. Whatever happen, you will feel good faster. Now you understand why some old religious Guru promote this ‘Letting go of desires’ in their scriptures most often.
So let’s make a practical strategy which you can use anytime you get any sad emotions for any reason.
Step 1:
Take some deep breath & relax your body. Then observe the repeat painful thoughts which kept running in your mind. Mostly these thoughts are related to some desires, like desire to achieve something or fix a problem. Finalize what is causing you this sadness.
Step 2:
Now simple tell to yourself that you are “Letting this Desire Go”. Tell to yourself that you life is fine without it. You no more want to get this desire or fix any problem related to it. You are simply letting it go. Use the words or language which most resonate with you. You mind may fight with you, but now that it is just FOMO made by the cortisol hormone. You ignore it & just let it go. Set your mind free from any desire or expectations in the present. If it is past, then let go of past; if it is future, then let go of the future. The core purpose is to just let it go anything that cause pain.
Step 3:
Now again take some deep breath & body relaxing. You will find the repeat thoughts gradually go down & yo body started to calm down. Happy hormones will gradually generated & replace the side effects of cortisol. Now you can continue your life as usual.
This is it. This simple. Try it & see it yourself.
You may think that you are giving up. But it i snot true fact. In fact, you can never fully give up your goals & expectations. Till you alive, there will always be some desire, some expectations. You will always have some responsibilities. And there will always be some threats to them & so you will always get sadness. By using this Letting go technique, you are just breaking the attachments towards it & it set you free.
Just try this technique & see it yourself. But note that you should not overdo it. I mean, you will feel absolutely free if you keep removing all your desires & expectations. It is mostly useful if you are feeling Anxiety or Worry. But if you are depressed, then use it on selected desires which cause depression. Actually in depression time, you mind is hopeless on certain desires & attached to some wrong desires. So here you should let go of the wrong desire attachments, and start having hope on good desires. I will make another article on how to use the “Hope Technique” on your benefits.
